No-Contact: Things Often Not Discussed

When going no-contact from abusers, there are several aspects and challenges that are often not openly discussed but are important to consider for those navigating this process. Here are some of them:

1. Guilt and Shame: Despite knowing that going no-contact is necessary for their well-being, survivors may still experience feelings of guilt and shame for cutting off contact with their abuser, especially if the abuser is a family member or someone they once cared about.
2. Isolation and Loss: Going no-contact can lead to feelings of isolation and loss, as survivors may be cutting ties with not only the abuser but also other family members, friends, or social circles connected to the abuser. This loss of support networks can be challenging to navigate.
3. Financial Dependence: Survivors who are financially dependent on their abuser may face practical challenges when going no-contact, such as finding housing, securing employment, or managing finances independently.
4. Legal and Safety Concerns: In some cases, going no-contact may escalate the risk of retaliation or further abuse from the abuser, particularly if there is a history of violence or threats. Survivors may need to take additional safety measures and seek legal protection, such as obtaining a restraining order.
5. Emotional Triggers and Flashbacks: Going no-contact can trigger intense emotions and memories associated with past abuse, leading to flashbacks, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress responses. Survivors may need to develop coping strategies and seek professional support to manage these triggers.
6. Navigating Relationships with Mutual Connections: Survivors may face challenges in navigating relationships with mutual connections who may still be in contact with the abuser. This can create awkward or uncomfortable situations and may require setting boundaries or limiting interactions with certain individuals.
7. Recovery and Healing: While going no-contact is an important step towards recovery, it is not a quick fix for healing from the trauma of abuse. Survivors may need to engage in ongoing therapy, self-care practices, and support groups to address the long-term effects of abuse and rebuild their lives.
8. Mixed Emotions: Despite the relief and empowerment that can come from going no-contact, survivors may also experience a range of mixed emotions, including sadness, anger, and ambivalence. These conflicting feelings are normal and part of the healing process.

It’s important for survivors considering or navigating no-contact to recognize that they are not alone and to seek support from trusted friends, family members, therapists, or support groups who can provide validation, empathy, and guidance throughout this challenging journey.